 |  |  |  |  |
I tried to pick the lock with a credit card but it didn't work. At least not like it works in the movies. Figure the
movies are bogus or the door-making industry figured out a way around that old trick. Either way, I won't be using
that Visa card again.
So I was stuck. I'd done it again, locked myself out. And this time Karen wasn't around to bail me out. When he's
no one left to call, what's a grown man to do when he's locked out of his apartment but sit on the front step and
watch the birds eat leftovers from some discarded fast food bag, or the sun as it disappears behind the tree-
covered mountains for an early sunset, or the homeless guy who mutters obscenities in his sleep? There's always
so much to watch, so much to see going on at any moment of the day, and it was so engrossing I almost didn't
mind sitting there leaning my back against the front door.
Mine's a very simple apartment complex, the parking lot is square and the light blue buildings surround it rising
only two stories. There's a covered parking spot for the tenants and a few more uncovered spots thrown in for
good measure. There are trees all around the complex, sometimes green, sometimes brown, sometimes naked
in the cold mountain winters. It's a quiet complex, and I was fortunate to lock myself out in August when it's warm
by night and scorching by day. And the sun had set. So I dozed off.
When I woke the next morning, I was still leaning against the front door, and what little activity I'd observed the
previous day was gone, replaced by a neighbor boy practicing his juggling and his kid sister watching him learn.
He was so engrossing I didn't even mind my numb posterior. After he and his sister went back inside there came
a bevy of birds–probably migratory either arriving late or leaving early–to the giant oak tree near the entrance to
the apartment complex. Each one seemed to have its own idea about where to perch and each one had no
problem voicing its opinion. I laughed out loud at their cacophonous exclamations.
Before I knew it it was evening again. And the stars were out in amazing splendor. And I think I saw a shooting
star though it may have just been a dream. Don't really remember because I woke up the next morning a bit sore.
That's when Catherine found me. She said she'd seen me sitting on my front step quite a bit and wondered if
everything was okay. I told her everything was grand. I'd completely forgotten about being locked out of my
apartment.
She still seemed worried. She asked me if I'd had any food or water recently. To be honest I hadn't even thought
about it. She brought me some leftovers and a few bottles of water. They lasted me through sunset, that glorious
evening show and the follow-up sunrise the next morning. It was pure bliss. I'd even forgotten about Karen.
I've completely lost track of how many days had gone by. Sorry. Never was good at the counting thing. That was
Karen's field, I was just the janitor. And I forgot about my job too. Didn't find out I'd lost it 'til Jimbo came by to
check on me, see what was wrong and all. I didn't mind all that much losing my job because the juggler was back
out and he was getting better. He even had the two-in-one-hand thing going. Jimbo wanted to know how I was
taking Karen's departure. I told him the juggler was getting better.
He showed up a little later with some food as well and joined me for that sunset. We chatted a bit, but he wasn't
the least bit interested in the splendor around us. He kept wanting to talk about Karen and how I was doing,
completely irrelevant stuff about feelings and reactions and moving on. I don't remember everything. The stars
were back and they were fantastic!
Karen showed up mid-morning the next day, told me what I was doing was childish and stupid, that no dumb vigil
would bring her back. I couldn't figure out what she was talking about. I didn't really care, though. A vulture was
circling around overhead and I was trying to figure out what it was watching. I think it was a squirrel because he
seemed to be over the park where a lot of people feed the squirrels increasing their population to record
numbers, though I can't really be sure because the sun was in my eyes. Karen said a very bad word and left.
Catherine kept me fed and watered. I don't understand why she was so worried. I was enjoying the outdoors so
much. I'd never been happier. Between the birds in the air and the people in the complex and the stars at night
and the sounds and smells and warm atmosphere of the outdoor complex I really wondered why I even had an
apartment.
Eventually a news crew found out that I was sitting there. Jennifer Waters herself interviewed me. Catherine said
they ran the story that night on the news; apparently a lot of people found out how great the outdoors is at my
complex because a whole bunch came out to hang out with me. Some of them held signs that read, "Come back,
Karen" for some reason but I didn't ask why. Guess they were friends of hers who wanted her to enjoy the
scenery. Doesn't really matter. The juggler had begun teaching his sister.
More people showed up to watch the world around us and they started inviting other friends. One guy held a sign
that read, "Take me Back, Becky" and another held one that read "I'll Stand with the Parking Lot Patron." Don't
know who the Parking Lot Patron was. Probably the juggler. Some folks brought a barbecue and we all ate well.
They even brought me my food so I wouldn't have to get up. Good thing, too, because I'd lost all feeling in my legs
for some reason.
Someone must have called her because Karen showed up again and she had this worried look. I wanted to get
up and greet her, tell her about the cloud that looked like a giant abalone and the worms that crossed the sidewalk
that got cooked in the sun and the ants that came to clean them up. I wanted to show her the bee that had
pollinated the flowers next to me but my legs wouldn't work. Couldn't figure out why. She helped me, though.
Karen was always good at helping me out. She had a key to my apartment. Karen helped me in. She
apologized for leaving me all alone, told me she wouldn't leave me again.
And for some reason, everyone outside cheered.
Aaron Steinmetz © 2005
movies are bogus or the door-making industry figured out a way around that old trick. Either way, I won't be using
that Visa card again.
So I was stuck. I'd done it again, locked myself out. And this time Karen wasn't around to bail me out. When he's
no one left to call, what's a grown man to do when he's locked out of his apartment but sit on the front step and
watch the birds eat leftovers from some discarded fast food bag, or the sun as it disappears behind the tree-
covered mountains for an early sunset, or the homeless guy who mutters obscenities in his sleep? There's always
so much to watch, so much to see going on at any moment of the day, and it was so engrossing I almost didn't
mind sitting there leaning my back against the front door.
Mine's a very simple apartment complex, the parking lot is square and the light blue buildings surround it rising
only two stories. There's a covered parking spot for the tenants and a few more uncovered spots thrown in for
good measure. There are trees all around the complex, sometimes green, sometimes brown, sometimes naked
in the cold mountain winters. It's a quiet complex, and I was fortunate to lock myself out in August when it's warm
by night and scorching by day. And the sun had set. So I dozed off.
When I woke the next morning, I was still leaning against the front door, and what little activity I'd observed the
previous day was gone, replaced by a neighbor boy practicing his juggling and his kid sister watching him learn.
He was so engrossing I didn't even mind my numb posterior. After he and his sister went back inside there came
a bevy of birds–probably migratory either arriving late or leaving early–to the giant oak tree near the entrance to
the apartment complex. Each one seemed to have its own idea about where to perch and each one had no
problem voicing its opinion. I laughed out loud at their cacophonous exclamations.
Before I knew it it was evening again. And the stars were out in amazing splendor. And I think I saw a shooting
star though it may have just been a dream. Don't really remember because I woke up the next morning a bit sore.
That's when Catherine found me. She said she'd seen me sitting on my front step quite a bit and wondered if
everything was okay. I told her everything was grand. I'd completely forgotten about being locked out of my
apartment.
She still seemed worried. She asked me if I'd had any food or water recently. To be honest I hadn't even thought
about it. She brought me some leftovers and a few bottles of water. They lasted me through sunset, that glorious
evening show and the follow-up sunrise the next morning. It was pure bliss. I'd even forgotten about Karen.
I've completely lost track of how many days had gone by. Sorry. Never was good at the counting thing. That was
Karen's field, I was just the janitor. And I forgot about my job too. Didn't find out I'd lost it 'til Jimbo came by to
check on me, see what was wrong and all. I didn't mind all that much losing my job because the juggler was back
out and he was getting better. He even had the two-in-one-hand thing going. Jimbo wanted to know how I was
taking Karen's departure. I told him the juggler was getting better.
He showed up a little later with some food as well and joined me for that sunset. We chatted a bit, but he wasn't
the least bit interested in the splendor around us. He kept wanting to talk about Karen and how I was doing,
completely irrelevant stuff about feelings and reactions and moving on. I don't remember everything. The stars
were back and they were fantastic!
Karen showed up mid-morning the next day, told me what I was doing was childish and stupid, that no dumb vigil
would bring her back. I couldn't figure out what she was talking about. I didn't really care, though. A vulture was
circling around overhead and I was trying to figure out what it was watching. I think it was a squirrel because he
seemed to be over the park where a lot of people feed the squirrels increasing their population to record
numbers, though I can't really be sure because the sun was in my eyes. Karen said a very bad word and left.
Catherine kept me fed and watered. I don't understand why she was so worried. I was enjoying the outdoors so
much. I'd never been happier. Between the birds in the air and the people in the complex and the stars at night
and the sounds and smells and warm atmosphere of the outdoor complex I really wondered why I even had an
apartment.
Eventually a news crew found out that I was sitting there. Jennifer Waters herself interviewed me. Catherine said
they ran the story that night on the news; apparently a lot of people found out how great the outdoors is at my
complex because a whole bunch came out to hang out with me. Some of them held signs that read, "Come back,
Karen" for some reason but I didn't ask why. Guess they were friends of hers who wanted her to enjoy the
scenery. Doesn't really matter. The juggler had begun teaching his sister.
More people showed up to watch the world around us and they started inviting other friends. One guy held a sign
that read, "Take me Back, Becky" and another held one that read "I'll Stand with the Parking Lot Patron." Don't
know who the Parking Lot Patron was. Probably the juggler. Some folks brought a barbecue and we all ate well.
They even brought me my food so I wouldn't have to get up. Good thing, too, because I'd lost all feeling in my legs
for some reason.
Someone must have called her because Karen showed up again and she had this worried look. I wanted to get
up and greet her, tell her about the cloud that looked like a giant abalone and the worms that crossed the sidewalk
that got cooked in the sun and the ants that came to clean them up. I wanted to show her the bee that had
pollinated the flowers next to me but my legs wouldn't work. Couldn't figure out why. She helped me, though.
Karen was always good at helping me out. She had a key to my apartment. Karen helped me in. She
apologized for leaving me all alone, told me she wouldn't leave me again.
And for some reason, everyone outside cheered.
Aaron Steinmetz © 2005
The Accidental Vigil
| This work by Aaron Steinmetz is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License. |